...this is no good...

hey~ how's life in Uni..?
SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!
i am unhappy!!! >.<"
always heard dat Uni life is fun!~
UR HEAD!!!!! my 2 month plus of uni life....nt fun at all....

my course oni gt 7 of us... 1 jz left... means.. 6 of us... 1 malay & 1 indian... left us 4... but... i cant really cope w them... >~<
>~<>~as usual... i looked... okay... but reality...?

next week mid-sem exam d... but i din learn anything much.... >~<
for da passed few nights i've been suffering from mayb so called stress or wadeva it should be called....
while i was sleeping.... suddenly felt dat i fell from a high place.... or.... while dreaming... then i told myself dat its a nightmare wake-up!!!! it wasnt jz once or twice... its many times..... T.T

i felt dat *most probably my coursemate hv da same feeling too..* v r a bunch of guinea pigs... v were like stupid MSU's experimental toys... argh.... i dun like it~~~ everyday was hoping dat tomorrow will be better... but izit so...? praying for a better tomorrow.... seems like nth much.... even i always keep in mind dat..."a man is happy as long as he chooses to be happy"... but it doesnt work either... *sigh*

oh... btw...after a few incidents... i felt dat... actually i really don't hv much frens.... i can't differentiate.... who r those i should keep n those i shouldn't keep.... hv i neglected those who i really should care about...? or i cared too much for those who actually doesn't worth for me to care for...? i tot dat u r really a true fren of mine... u tell me dat i'm nt good n etc...but... y besides telling me.. u did back stab me...? but while u r back stabbing me u r telling its for my own good...? @@" u din say it in front of me bcuz u still care bout my feelings...??? i almost got crazy... i'm so so so confused! they tell me to confront u... but i think dat u've ur own reason to do such act...? do u really really still care bout us...? i really duno how m i suppose to react... i still rmb dat once i ask u... will us b like sm other ppl, very close frens ended up turning into strangers...? without hesitating u answer me, NO! we wont! i duno what misunderstanding happened between us... or mayb i really wasnt as complicated as u tot... i tried very hard to keep on da positive side... sm even say dat i'm an idiot being so +ve after listened to wat u hv said dat hurts me.... i really hope dat dun bcuz of sm other stuff affected our relationship... a bond dat was so strong... but now...? i really duno... i still hoping for the best... cuz i really do care.
sigh.... yayaya~~~ my exterior is very glam... w lots of frens... large social networks.... interior...? its kinda hollow.... >~<"
i miss home... i wanna go back....

p/s: sorry for such messy post....

my current status.... desperate.